Mental Wellness and Being a Modern Mum
Striving to find the perfect balance between being fully committed to one's career whilst staying on top of family responsibilities can sometimes feel exhausting and impossible for working mums. Achieving a perfect work-life balance would assume that both parts are treated as equal, 50/50, and that you can have the freedom to divide your time fairly. Doing so will result in fulfilment and happiness both at home and at work, right? The reality is that whether you work from home, part-time, full-time, or have a flexible or rigid schedule, it can't always be perfect. Somewhere along the line, compromises or sacrifices will inevitably be made. The ideal balance varies for everyone and achieving that is an individual journey. The best approach however, no matter your circumstance, is to exercise self-compassion in order to foster a healthy mindset.
In this article, we’ll explore some helpful tips around how to keep a healthy balance so that you can flourish whilst maintaining consistency in all areas of your life.
Understand Your Definition of Balance
In the grand scheme of things, striving for a constant balance in all areas of life is probably unrealistic, because there will be times when one responsibility takes priority of your life more than the other. For example, when your children are unwell, you'll need to play the role of the #supermum 100 percent, or if you have a tight deadline, you might have to bail out on a family outing to ensure you submit your work on time.
With this in mind, the first thing you could do to help restore balance in your life is to define what balance means to you. While you’re in your moment of introspection, be as honest as possible with regards to where you feel you’re falling short and try not to compare yourself to others. Let's say you have a successful career that comes with big responsibilities. That might mean you can't always pick up your children from school or that you may miss some of their extra-curricular activities, but that most definitely does not mean you are doing a poor job at being a mum.
For these types of mothers, finding balance may be defined as disconnecting from work whilst at home. Switching phones, iPads or laptops off to be fully present during a family dinner, and then tending to work requirements after you tuck your children into bed. For other mothers, defining balance may translate as cutting back on days at the office so they can keep their foot in their career door whilst still being able to do school drop off and pick up, help out with homework, and take care of other household priorities.
The moral of the story is that your personal definition of balance will vary based on your job, your support network, your desires, and your priorities. And as your personal and professional responsibilities shift and your kids get older, your sense of balance may also change. And that is ok. By continuing to redefine your definition of balance and being transparent about your needs, wants, and level of happiness, you’ll experience a positive impact on your mental wellness. This will allow you to thrive in the areas in your life that matter, and ensure you are also giving back to yourself. After all, pouring from an empty cup doesn’t benefit anyone. When you are feeling good mentally and physically, you are sharper, have more patience and a greater capacity to give to others. When you take care of yourself, you are better equipped to take care of others and are happier doing it.
Work Smarter, Not Harder
Whilst most women are praised for their ability to do five things at once, multitasking is not actually a positive thing as it contributes to stress while reducing achievement and meaningfulness (Forbes, 2020). Instead, to get the most done in the least amount of time, plan strategically. There’s absolutely no shame in shortcuts!
As an example, you could order your groceries online and have them delivered to your house. You could schedule conference calls during your commute and get errands done during your lunch break to free up more time on your weekends.
You could also try preparing outfits, uniforms and lunches the night before so that you can enjoy your morning and start your day off in a mindful manner. Perhaps you could use the extra time to practise a morning meditation. Not only will it set the tone for the entire day ahead, but it will sharpen your focus, provide a sense of calm, and benefit your emotional well-being. As Mayo Clinic highlights, when you meditate, you clear away the information overload that builds up every day and contributes to your stress (Mayoclinic, 2022).
Another way to support yourself with the many hats you wear, is to use planners, apps, and other resources to keep track of your to-do’s to help let go of some of the mental load. Things such as doctor’s appointments, permission slips, social events, birthdays, writing cards, and staying on top of what’s in the fridge can all be scheduled or diarised. Schedules can help carve out some much needed "me" time, whilst you maintain the discipline and consistency required to stay on top of life demands.
Whatever you can do to offload important reminders from your mind, the better. Not only will it be beneficial to your mental wellbeing and provide you with the confidence that everything is taken care of, but it will also help you feel less overloaded long-term.
But First, Self Care
Whilst it is in their nature and why we love them so much, most mothers sacrifice their own wellbeing to ensure family and work needs are met before their own. Whether they are sacrificing sleep or skipping meals due to chaotic family schedules, some measure of sacrifice is often made.
But, finding even a few minutes for yourself during the day can help your mental wellbeing. A five or ten minute meditation during your lunch break, a walk around the park with your dog, drinking a cup of tea in silence, or scheduling an empowering session with a wellness coach can help you significantly. It can help you to reconnect to yourself, clear your mind of unhelpful thoughts and alleviate pressure, all while supporting your general wellbeing.
You could even try affirmations, perhaps after a morning meditation. For example:
- “All I can do is my best and I lovingly accept support from others.”
- “I’ve got what it takes to fully nurture myself and those around me.”
- “I believe in my ability to succeed whilst supporting the growth of others.”
- “I am open and receptive to the guidance of the universe in all areas of my life.”.
This will help you feel uplifted, supported and connected to a source higher than yourself. According to Healthline, affirmations replace anxious thoughts with positive thoughts, which subsequently help strengthen self-worth by boosting both your positive opinion of yourself and your confidence in your ability to achieve your goals (Healthline, 2020).
Disconnect to Reconnect
We live in a world of instant gratification, stimulation, and consistent digital distraction. So much of the time, we rely on our phones to communicate, entertain us, manage our lives, and find moments of reprieve. But is this really the answer for making the most of “your” time and truly finding balance? To maintain inner peace and balance between work and home life, we have to truly immerse ourselves in activities that light us up, contribute to our wellness and make us feel good, away from our screens.
Prioritise something in your life that will allow you to relax and recharge; something that is just for you. Perhaps that’s meditation, yoga, exercise, reading, writing in your gratitude journal, catching up with a friend, or pampering yourself. Make a list of feel-good activities and schedule them ahead of time so you have something to look forward to. When you prioritise your own needs, you will find your life will flow more smoothly and effectively, and you will have the capacity to bring your best to whatever challenges come your way.
If you need a helping hand finding balance on your individual wellness journey, we invite you to get started on our Empowerment Series today. Comprised of over 60+ empowerment practices using meditation, mindfulness, positive psychology, subliminal strategies, you can begin your wellness journey now. Get started today or try our mini series, completely FREE at iswara.life
References:
How to Craft and Use Affirmations for Anxiety (https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/do-affirmations-work#takeaway)
Meditation: A simple, fast way to reduce stress
https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/meditation/in-depth/meditation/art-20045858#:~:text=Meditation%20can%20give%20you%20a,centered%20and%20keep%20inner%20peace.
How Multitasking Erodes Productivity And Dings Your IQ
(https://www.forbes.com/sites/curtsteinhorst/2020/02/20/how-multitasking-erodes-productivity-and-dings-your-iq/?sh=5a5d60be3b7e)
